Well, we took some time to absorb everything that’s happened with our football team in the past few weeks.
Unfortunately, we spent almost all of that time absorbing beer.
Well, let’s take a half-drunk look at what’s going on...
1. Logan Thomas is coming back.
DUUUUUH. What, he was going to go find an NFL team really wanting a qb that makes bad decisions and throws the ball to the other team constantly?
Look, we love the kid, but there was no way he was going to leave. And it’s a good thing, too.
As much as we hate on him, our coaches decided not to recruit a quarterback for the past 5 years, so we would have been even more screwed.
2. BYRAN F*CKING STINESPRING WAS SOMEWHAT FIRED
Did you ever really, REALLY look forward to something? Like, for YEARS. Like the girl you’ve had a crush on since high school kisses you, and it’s not so good? Probably because she was forced to or else the fans would have revolted.
Wait, I’m mixing metaphors.
Anyways, we wish we could be more excited about this, we really do. We’ve been some of the guy’s biggest critics, mainly because HE WAS SO OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE FOR SO FREAKING LONG.
But now that it’s here it’s just... meh.
After this year, if Frank didn’t take action with Voldemort, after this wet fart of a season, it was all over. The football program becomes Tennessee, except no one wants to drive the four hours from DC to Blacksburg every weekend to watch what we were forced to see this year.
Well, we would definitely do it, because Blacksburg is awesome. People just wouldn’t do it as much.
Anyways, I’m off course again.
Voldemort is no longer in charge of the offense. Beamer kept him on staff, because he truly has no balls. Nothing like keeping the guy around that’s just been demoted, in case you wanted someone to compare the new guy to when he has a bad game.
I guess I’m just frustrated that it took this long for changes to be made. It wasn’t the constant struggles on offense. Or the pathetic play calling year in and year out. It was the worst season in two decades for OBVIOUS changes to finally happen.
Being right for eight years doesn’t always feel as good as you’d think, I guess.
3. Scot Loeffler is your new
goat... we mean... Offensive Coordinator
Look, we don’t know much about X’s and O’s. (Anyone with two brain cells could see Voldemort was a big issue with the team. Even the Northerner! So we can’t take much credit for being right there.) We’re not sure if this is a good hire or not. It’s change, and after our offense went -1 points for / against vs. Rutgers, change is good.
No, it’s not a flashy hire. But if you were expecting that, you haven’t been a Tech fan for very long.
Sure, Auburn was terrible this past year. But we’re willing to look past that since he’s, you know, NOT Voldemort.
So we shall see. This team is a ship in trouble. Maybe not quite sinking, but close to it. We just plugged a big hole. Will it hold? Can we keep it together long enough to become relevant again? Will anyone address the tractor trailer-sized hole known as “special teams”? Is this asking-questions-without-answers-while-making-references-to-watercraft grow old and tired?
We may never know.
But beat Alabama, and it’s all good.
LET’S GO HOKIES!!