This is our new summer series: The NEZ Live Blog's the 90's. Our plan is to watch semi-bad kids movies from the 90's while drinking beer. There is exactly zero structure to this, so feel free to send us some tips for how to improve.

First up: Blank Check.

Didn’t want all 15 of our fans to think we had forgotten about them, yep 15, we managed to pick up a few extra people with our amazing basketball and off-season write-ups….. Now that March Madness is over, what do we have to look forward to?  NHL Playoffs? Many of you are Caps “fans” so that’ll be over after the first round. *CGally edit* MLB Regular Season? MLB is great, only this early in the season even die-hard fans are bored with the sport. Golf? No. So we are left with looking forward to college football spring practices and games, and over analyzing post practice interviews, but here at NEZ it’s one of the things we do best. Pick it up after the jump..

OK I decided to start writing again. You might be wondering what I've been up to recently? Well, basically I've been sitting on my couch getting drunk off moonshine for the past 8 weeks and deemed everything else irrelevant. However, given that we're playing UVA, I figured now was as good a time as ever to get back into the swing of things! Hit the jump to read on, bitches! 

Well, we took some time to absorb everything that’s happened with our football team in the past few weeks.
Unfortunately, we spent almost all of that time absorbing beer.

Well, let’s take a half-drunk look at what’s going on...

1. Logan Thomas is coming back.

DUUUUUH. What, he was going to go find an NFL team really wanting a qb that makes bad decisions and throws the ball to the other team constantly?

Look, we love the kid, but there was no way he was going to leave. And it’s a good thing, too.

As much as we hate on him, our coaches decided not to recruit a quarterback for the past 5 years, so we would have been even more screwed.

2. BYRAN F*CKING STINESPRING WAS SOMEWHAT FIRED

Did you ever really, REALLY look forward to something? Like, for YEARS. Like the girl you’ve had a crush on since high school kisses you, and it’s not so good? Probably because she was forced to or else the fans would have revolted.

Wait, I’m mixing metaphors.

Anyways, we wish we could be more excited about this, we really do. We’ve been some of the guy’s biggest critics, mainly because HE WAS SO OBVIOUSLY TERRIBLE FOR SO FREAKING LONG.

But now that it’s here it’s just... meh.

After this year, if Frank didn’t take action with Voldemort, after this wet fart of a season, it was all over. The football program becomes Tennessee, except no one wants to drive the four hours from DC to Blacksburg every weekend to watch what we were forced to see this year.

Well, we would definitely do it, because Blacksburg is awesome. People just wouldn’t do it as much.

Anyways, I’m off course again.

Voldemort is no longer in charge of the offense. Beamer kept him on staff, because he truly has no balls. Nothing like keeping the guy around that’s just been demoted, in case you wanted someone to compare the new guy to when he has a bad game.

I guess I’m just frustrated that it took this long for changes to be made. It wasn’t the constant struggles on offense. Or the pathetic play calling year in and year out. It was the worst season in two decades for OBVIOUS changes to finally happen.

Being right for eight years doesn’t always feel as good as you’d think, I guess.

3. Scot Loeffler is your new goat... we mean... Offensive Coordinator

Look, we don’t know much about X’s and O’s. (Anyone with two brain cells could see Voldemort was a big issue with the team. Even the Northerner! So we can’t take much credit for being right there.) We’re not sure if this is a good hire or not. It’s change, and after our offense went -1 points for / against vs. Rutgers, change is good.

No, it’s not a flashy hire. But if you were expecting that, you haven’t been a Tech fan for very long.
Sure, Auburn was terrible this past year. But we’re willing to look past that since he’s, you know, NOT Voldemort.

So we shall see. This team is a ship in trouble. Maybe not quite sinking, but close to it. We just plugged a big hole. Will it hold? Can we keep it together long enough to become relevant again? Will anyone address the tractor trailer-sized hole known as “special teams”? Is this asking-questions-without-answers-while-making-references-to-watercraft grow old and tired?

We may never know.

But beat Alabama, and it’s all good.

LET’S GO HOKIES!!

So it has been a long time and rightfully so… we had nothing to add after that bowl win over Rutgers that we hadn’t been saying all year long.  But this is NEZ we can’t leave our faithful readers hanging without a post for weeks or months of down time, all 6 of them would be hurt and lost without our guidance. Let’s talk about coaching changes... after the jump.

Oh hey, I didn’t see you there.  How’s it going?  We haven’t talked in quite a while, huh?  I blame CGally.  Anyways, here we are at the end of our season (Thank Jeebus) and we play Rutgers in the M&Ms Yankee Candle Hunger Games Shoe Rack Bowl. Or something like that.  Russell Athletic Bowl?  Cool, yeah that one.

Hit the jump.

So we’ve finally reached the end.

The grand finale.

In August, every team dreamed of getting to 6-6 and playing Rutgers in a bowl game shortly after Christmas.

Our nightmare of a season is almost over.

But we get it end it by beating up on a bunch of Jersey douchebags, so hit the jump and join the fun...

Normally, we let B-Dubs roll out the previews for basketball. However, with the game this Saturday being against WVU, it’s only right that your humble editor, born and raised in the wonderful city of Morganhole, should take the reins for this one.

But this isn’t just a basketball preview. We’ve got football, coaching rumors, conference realignment, and a home remedy to get rid of those pesky backyard giraffes. It’s everything you’ve been looking for and more!

So let’s light this couch fire, after the jump…

Yeah buddy! We're officially 7-0 after an upset win over  #15 Oklahoma State! Gotta say - this is a heck of a basketball team. James Johnson is doing nothing but great things with this team! 

Who woulda thought we could wakeup on men's hoops gamedays and actually be EXCITED! Let the good times roll! 

GO HOKIES!!!