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Corey's Conspiracy Theory: Rutgers

Written by C Gally | 16 November 2006

They are now "Legit Football Team" Rutgers. They control their own destiny to make it a BCS game. They have just pulled off the biggest win of all time ever (according to ESPN). But look a little deeper, and you may find something strange about this run of Rutgers.

First off, let's start with the logo. Apparently, when Rutgers decided to grace the sports world with a logo, they turned to trusty Microsoft Word to find it. "Let's see... we are Rutegers. That starts with 'R'. What's that look like in Times New Roman?... Bingo." Exactly zero creativity. Must have spent too much time on that football program back then.



Ok, so their logo sucks. that's not a crime. But this infamous logo decision has led to some clues about how the Fighting Jerseyians finally reached success in college football.





You see, much like the Masons, you can find clues about how deep the Rutgers power reaches. We've already mentioned their infiltration of Word. Every movie ever made about pirates has a subtle taste of the Rutgers "R". But the mind-blowing conspiracy is that Rutgers... CONTROLS THE OFFICIATING CREWS.


That's right folks. It's time people know the truth. After an exhaustive search and investigation (or just watching games), we've seen that the referee is obviosuly giving Rutgers an advantage every time.




With the subtleness of a young maiden's death kiss, the Scarlet Knights are able to announce their prescence to the officating crew in the very uniforms they must wear. Think that Times New Roman "R" on the ref's back stands for referee? Think again. Every game is tilted in the Knights' favor. They have been biding their time for the past 20 years, and now they are ready to pounce.

Prediction: Scarlet Knights win the National Championship by 2010. The stars are aligning. Also, aliens killed JFK.

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