| 29 August 2009
Hot damn, that is my favorite picture of all time. Even more than the Paulus teabag.
Why do we hate Miami? Because they suck.
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The Town
It's a school in Miami, and Miami is kind of awesome. There are no bikini clad girls roaming around Blacksburg in February, so we are pretty envious. But all that means is that we hate them more.
Luckily, we get to visit once a year to play in the Orange Bowl. I think the Canes played in Toronto last year.
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The School
Does anyone actually go to this school? Have you ever met a graduate?
The University of Miami is best known for... being in Miami.
They also play in "Land Shark Stadium." Is this a joke? The stadium is named after Jimmy Buffet's beer. I know people out there are big fans of Jimmy, and that's fine. But you know what doesn't impose fear into the hearts of visiting opponents? Cheeseburger in Paradise.
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The Fans
As mentioned, there are no actual students. We're fairly certain every fan of this team is a townie.
At least WVU has devoted townie fans. Cane fans are, without a doubt, the worst fans in the country. They aren't jackasses or anything. They are the worst because they don't support a team that has won 5 national titles since 1983.
Traveling to Miami is as intimidating as going to grandma's for Thanksgiving. Teams prepare for the noise level by putting a small radio playing NPR near the practice field.
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The Team
As mentioned, Miami has won 5 national titles. They have been pretty damn impressive.
But no one cares where you've been. And they suck pretty damn bad right now. They are the Nebraska of the ACC.
This is a team that fired Larry Coker. The man won a national title and went 60-15 in six seasons. Randy Shannon has gone 12-13. Good move guys.
There is quite a history of hate between the Hokies and the Canes. The 31 point drubbing in '99. The 27-7 abortion of a game in '05. The dropped 2-point conversion in '01.
Tech's history with Miami did not begin well. But after losing the first 12 match-ups, Tech has taken 9 of 14 since 1995. Suck on that, Cane douchers.
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Other
The U.
Sweet Jesus, is there anything more annoying from fans you've never met?
"OMFG you have the word 'university' in your name!! You guys are totally the only 'U' in the country!"
Other teams that could claim to be "The U":
- Temple University
- West Virginia State University
- Northeastern University
- James Madison University
That last one was a joke. No one cares about JMU enough to give it a nickname.
Oh, and the Canes got into a brawl with Florida International. Need I say more?
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