| 06 November 2009
Bowl eligible!! Wooooo!!!
That’s pretty much the best thing you can say about last night’s “game”. Three points in the second half? Par for the course for this offense. Good thing we're not wasting a talent like Ryan "I Will Make Up for that Fumble by Trucking 3 Defenders Each Play" Williams.
More thoughts, post jump...
Want to know what teams scored more than 16 points against the mighty powerhouse of East Carolina? Appalachian State, Marshall, Memphis, and SMU. That’s pretty good company.
Here’s a thought we posited last night: Let’s say Voldemort is fired / let go / dragged away by an angry mob of students at the end of the season. Do you think schools would be scrambling to get his services? Would a team with a struggling offense be like, “OMFG Stinespring is available!!! GET ME MY CHECKBOOK!!”
Blacksburg High School might give him a waterboy spot.
Three points in the second half?? Is that for real? I mean, I guess it’s better than no points in a half, which was accomplished last week.
And if we run one more sweep or end around to the weak side, I am actually going to flip my shit. I don't know exactly how that happens, medically speaking, but I'm sure it won't be good.
Oh, and Ed Wang, you are officially on our shit list. Watch out, we have a young parking cone playing behind you, and he is gunning for your starting position.
Now the defense? Well they looked good. At least, based on the score and stat sheets. Cody Grimm, you are a man-beast.
But joining Ed on the shit list is the opposite of a man-beast: Kam Chancellor. I don’t know if there’s a site that keeps track of missed tackles, but there isn’t any more. Kam broke the server. Aside from not being able to do the one thing defenders have to learn, Kam also couldn't cover a dish of potato salad. He’s quickly becoming Jimmy Williams 2K9.
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Finally, did you notice…
…how awful that sideline guy was? Not only did we not get to see the future Mrs. Gally in Erin Andrews, but we had to listen to this toolbag rattle off jokes he wrote on Monday. Kam would have gotten all my respect back if he had trucked that guy into a wall.
…the drunk girl with the fake ESPN mic? This was priceless. She was jabbering away into this cardboard mic, while all her friends looked away, trying not to notice. And she just wouldn’t stop! We couldn’t make out what she was saying, but if she’s like most girls I know, it was nothing important.
…Lou Holtz was calling his son’s game? Yeah, you noticed. We all noticed. So ESPN makes Herbstreit not pick a winner for a game that he’ll be calling later in the day, but it’s ok for a father to announce his son’s game? Seems about right.
...the Pirate mascot tap our guy on the ass after a play out of bounds? We wonder what kind of pirate that makes him...
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So that’s about it. Join us again next week for more stalled drives and blown-up screens.
At least we know who to turn to in order to get the job done.
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