| 16 October 2009
Welcome to Atlanta where the Hokies play...
God that's awful. More bad jokes after the jump.
Non-Metallica Pump-up Song of the Week
Crank this shit up to eleven!!
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We’re starting to realize that the whole HateFest thing over the summer may have been a waste of time. At least in relation to the ACC teams we talked about. Because it seems that our weekly previews are pretty much a mini-HateFests. You know what?
Nevermind. You can never have too much hate. Especially when it comes to Georgia Tech. These little shits. We’ve already covered that we hate the fact that no one ever says “Gah-Tech”. If we have to endure it, they should too.
But there’s oh so much more to hate about them.
Oh, they are sooooo smart. Such a smart school, that Georgia Tech. They are the Harvard of Atlanta. Just shut the hell up.
We’ve had quite a history in just the past few years. There was the abortion known simply as “The Calvin Johnson Game”. There was the game where we beat them wearing their jerseys. The lightning game. The meningitis game.
What will this one be known as decades from now? "The Josh Nesbitt Almost Died Game."
We’ve mentioned before that the Yellow Whack-its are quickly becoming a bigger rival than UVA. After review, we’re pretty sure this has already happened, especially for us younger folks. They now sit #2, just behind Miami in the Biggest Doucher Rankings.
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We’re just going to start calling this the…
Rant of the Week
I swear to God, if I hear one more person talking about Virginia Tech playing for the National Championship, I am going to rip off their head and spike it onto the floor of a nightmare you can’t even imagine.
Christ people, have you not been Virginia Tech fans for the past decade? Do you not know the jinxing power of talking about these things far too early in the season? Do you not remember the early 2000’s?
One of the worst things to happen to this fanbase was the run to the National Championship game in 1999. Sure, it was awesome. What a sweet ride.
But now, we think it’s always in the cards. For the past ten years, how many times have we heard that we are in the title hunt? 7, 8? And how many times were we in the hunt after the 10th game? Once: 2007, when we finished 3rd before the bowl games.
We’re not even halfway through the freaking season!! There shouldn’t be title hopes for ANYONE that’s not Florida or Texas, since they’ve actually won championships recently.
Our rule has always been that if we get through this game, we’ll allow the chatter. But before arguably our biggest conference opponent all year?? The last thing we need is to do is to be looking to January. So just shut the hell up with all this title talk.
Even with a victory this week, the road ahead is incredibly difficult. So just let it go, and if we’re still in it in a few weeks, have all the title talk you want. Just don’t come crying to us when you are disappointed with an Orange Bowl victory.
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The Bad Guys
Georgia Tech runs the option. Do you know why no one runs the option any more? Because good defenses are able to stuff it without even trying. That shouldn’t be a problem for the Yellow Jackets, since Bud foster isn’t the opposing Defensive Coordinator this week… oh wait… you don’t say…
Welp, you’re screwed.
GT’s top running back, Jonathan Dwyer, will obviously be a big part of the Gah-Tech offense. And our track record against stopping the run isn’t great. But if Foster is half the badass we know he is, he’ll get the job done.
And Josh Nesbitt? Get ready buddy. The first option you run will begin with hope and end with Cody Grimm eating you.
As for GT’s defense, well it kind of sucks. The smoldering pile of dumpster trash that is the Florida State football team was able to put up 44 points on your lame asses. The Voldemort of old might even have had success against this defense.
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The Hokies
What else can we say about these guys? Everything is clicking right now. The offense has been on fire for the past 3 games. The defense responded to the Duke hiccup by murdering 3 players on Boston College. And the special teams is getting back to the dominating unit we’re used to.
Look for Ryan Williams to have a huge day against Georgia Tech's weak-ass run defense. We know this isn't exactly a bold prediction. Just sayin'...
More analysis is available pretty much anywhere on the FaceTubes. We won’t pretend that you’re coming here for that. All we’re going to say is that if we don’t keep the pedal on the floor, the NEZ may explode in a ball of angry rants.
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The Game
Remember when Alabama was the biggest game ever? Or when it was Miami? Or last week against BC? Well forget them all. This, kiddies, is THE game. Win this game, and we can start talking about you-know-what. Win this game, and at the very least we are in the driver’s seat for another ACC Coastal Championship.
Forget everything else about this season. None of it happened. And without a win tomorrow, none of it will happen.
Biggest game of your life. Get out the Raid.
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Replacement Offensive Coordinator of the Week
Yes, despite the fact that Voldemort has shown signs that he may not be the worst coach in football, we still want him replaced.
Our main fear for Saturday is that our offense will get conservative. We can’t have that happen.
So we need a man that will keep the pressure on. A man that is willing to take no prisoners and show that he is serious about winning.
We need someone that will burn Atlanta to the ground…
We need…
What. A. Pimp.
LET'S GO HOKIES!!!
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