| 02 December 2010
It's ACC Championship time. Hello again, our friend.
Your humble editor, Poppa Gally, the Hokie Ambassador to Philly/Morgantown, and the rest of your Hokie brethren will be in Charlotte. Win-win? Absolutely.
After the jump... drunken ramblings. It's what we do.
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Metallica Pump-Up Song of the Week
Do you even need to ask why?
Also, at the beginning, anyone notice Brandon Pace? Wow. That guy.
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So before we get to the ACC Championship, let’s talk about the annual decimation of UVA…
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Seriously, screw you guys. This used to be a rivalry. We used to hate each other even more than we do now. But now you just suck, and we couldn’t love it any more.
I met a guy from W&L tonight. He considered UVA for grad school. The quote:
“I couldn’t handle two more years in rural Virginia with people that were complete DOUCHES.”
Seriously. The emphasis was on “douches”. It was the greatest quote of my life.
So Cavs, I must say, it’s been a fun 6 years. Maybe someday you’ll be able to score a few points before garbage time, but I doubt that time will come any time soon.
And though there’s joy in our chest, we still wish you the best with a…
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Holy shit, we’re in the ACC Championship again. Kinda feels like home, doesn’t it?
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The Bad Guys
So our record against FSU is something like 1-80. But does everyone remember that 1? Cuz I do!!!
It was the greatest college football game ever. 2007 (maybe? I dunno, last time they played in Blacksburg). We scored the last 20 point of the game and won 40-21. And on the last touchdown, the entire stadium did a mocking chop.
Since I was 5 years old, I’ve hated Florida State. I don’t know why, but I did. I waited all that time to do the chop in mocking fashion. And when we did it as a stadium… words couldn’t describe the feeling. My nipples were harder than a rock in an ice storm.
So guess what I’m looking forward to in this game! That’s right, the mocking chop. When we put this shit away, I’m starting it. Hokie-nation will join me. And it shall be glorious.
As far as the ACTUAL Florida State team? No one cares. Ponder is a toolbag, and we’ve kicked his ass before.
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The Good Guys
Oh the good guys. Nothing but praise right now. Tyrod just won ACC Player of the Year. Our running backs are like the triumvirate of Constantinople.
Our defense…is making plays. They might give us a heart attack, but they come up with key turnovers when it matters.
And how about Hosley? This guy is just a monster. Odds on him getting a pick this week? The same as me getting hammertimed.
And do you want some actual research? Well the FSU kickoff unit sucks donkey balls. And we're going to take one back. Mark it down. You're welcome.
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The Game
As I mentioned, we suck against FSU. But that was the Bowden FSU, not the Jimbo Douchebag FSU. Jimbo? Really? You’re a fucking grown man going by Jimbo? No wonder no one likes you.
Luckily, Bobby and Mrs. Bowden will be in attendance at the game.
We’ve heard that they’re getting a balcony seat.
Bobby is on the......nevermind.
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RMFW T-Shirt Sighting of the Week
No sightings this week, but we will FINALLY get an RMFW picture with Poppa Gally. I know everyone has been waiting for visual confirmation that (A) I have a father and (B) there is a real person that predicts a blocked kick every week.
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Hokie Motivator(s) of the Week
The CMU Football Analyst is all business this week…
All. Business.
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Replacement Offensive Coordinator
Yeah, no other choice.
LET’S GO HOKIES!!!
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