| 26 February 2010
We've finally got everything set. The quest to find the greatest movie quote in all the land is upon us. The Movie Quote Madness is about to begin.
But first, we'll need to narrow down our field to 64 teams. How do we accomplish this? Why, conference championships of course!
We've listed 63 movies after the jump. From each movie, only one quote is going dancing. There will be one wild card vote as well, for movies with only one or two legit lines.
Usually, we'll try to get a few movies in each post. But we decided to go with Anchorman first. And we're only human. So after the jump, vote for your favorite Anchorman quote. And don't hurt yourself.
Let's light this candle...
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ANCHORMAN
1. Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...
2. Frank Vitchard: I am gonna straight-up murder your ass.
3. Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh. Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady. Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me. Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people News Station Employee: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair. News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick.
4. Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team. Ron Burgundy: That's a given. Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
5. Ron Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight. Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
6. Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
7. Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time. Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.
8. Ron Burgundy: You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
9. Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
10. Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
11. Ron Burgundy: Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
12. Ron Burgundy: What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing.
13. Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. Veronica Corningstone: Really. Ron Burgundy: People know me. Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm very happy for you. Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
14. Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!
15. Ron Burgundy: [after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision!
16. Brick Tamland: Loud noises!
17. Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
18. Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast. Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch. Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it? Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart. Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident? Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident. Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
19. Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!
20. Ron Burgundy: Great Odin's raven.
21. Ron Burgundy: It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice.
22. Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party. Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me? Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants? Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited? Brick Tamland: That's it. Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick? Brick Tamland: No. Yes. He did. Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants. Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants? Ian: No, Brick. Brick Tamland: All right. Let's go.
23. Champ Kind: Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can?t get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it. Brick Tamland: O, I'm sorry champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.
24. Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once. Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name? Brian Fantana: I don't remember. Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going... Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
25. Brick Tamland: I love lamp. Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it? Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.
26. Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation. Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.
(We couldn't find a decent survey to give you more than 10 options. Yeah, you can vote for three different quotes. But don't be a douche.)
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All movies:
40 Year Old Virgin
Airplane!
American Pie
Anchorman
Animal House
Beerfest
Big Lebowski
Billy Madison
Blues Brothers
Boondock Saints
Caddyshack
Vacation Movies
Clerks 1 & 2
Dazed and Confused
Deliverance
Die Hard
Dodgeball
Dogma
Dumb and Dumber
Elf
Fight Club
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Glengary Glenross
Ghostbuster 1 & 2
Goodfellas
Half Baked
Hangover
Happy Gilmore
Harold and Kumar
Hot Rod
Independence Day
Kindergarten Cop
Major League 1 & 2
Mallrats
Monty Python
My Cousin Vinny
Office Space
Old School
Out Cold
Princes Bride
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Role Models
Sandlot
Saving Silverman
Snatch
South Park
Space Balls
Super Troopers
Superbad
Swingers
Talladega Nights
The Dark Knight
The Rock
The Shawshank Redemption
There’s Something About Mary
This is Spinal Tap
Tommy Boy
Top Gun
Vacation
Van Wilder
Varsity Blues
Zombieland
Zoolander
WILD CARDS
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