There have been plenty of unnecessary sequels in the history of film. Caddyshack 2, The Godfather 3, Babe: Pig in the City.

But standing alone, above all of these travesties, is one movie:

Blues Brothers 2000

Angry, angry ranting after the jump...

Now we’d like to say that this movie was so bad that we should not even recognize its existence (see: Dumber, Dumb and). But this movie is even worse than THAT.

It’s so bad that we have to use it as a warning to filmmakers. A bloody head on a post to say, “If you mess with one of our beloved films, this could happen to you.”

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To understand the wretchedness of this “film”, you have to understand the original. Shot with grainy film and viewed mainly on VHS, the original was fantastic. The comedy was understated, and the characters were cool just by being on screen.

It was a perfect combination. Belushi and Aykroyd at their best. Hell, the "106 miles to Chicago" quote won Movie Quote Madness. It's pure science.

Dry humor. Great music. A classic, classic movie.

Sure, it wasn’t considered a classic when it was made. But do you know when it was considered one? IN THE YEAR TWO-F***ING-THOUSAND!!

We’re not suggesting that every classic shouldn’t be remade. Just look at Batman. But for every Batman Begins and Dark Knight, there’s a Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Actually, considering Indiana Jones 4 and Oceans 12, the ratio of bad-to-good sequels is probably around 10-1.

So when you do mess with a classic, it better be amazing. And this was far from it.

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This would be the point where we talk about the plot and how awful it was. But to be honest, we burned the copy we rented and haven’t watched it since. There was something about a kid and voodoo and the Russian mob, but that’s all we remember.

But what angers us so much is that the music in the remake was actually pretty good. Which means there was at least potential for a real winner. Take a listen:

See? Not bad. How’s about we just release an album instead of a movie? You know, since the main guy that made the first one great is dead and all?

But no, we had to half-ass our way through the lamest script imaginable and throw some good music on top. Thanks a lot, douchenozzles.

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So screw you, John Landis. You owe me an apology. I don’t even want the $20 replacement fee Blockbuster charged me. I just think I deserve to hear you say you’re sorry. We all do.

Here’s hoping Ghostbusters III and Independence Day II don’t ruin my the rest of my childhood.

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