| 02 August 2010
There have been plenty of hate-related articles pertaining to these two douche-monkeys. So here at the NEZ, we’re going to go ahead and combine them into one loathsome piece of hate burger....after the jump.
We’ll start with Mr. Favre. This Wrangler-wearing mother-f***er has been able to ruin my sports summer every year since, oh, 2006 or so. Every summer, ESPN leads the march of the “will he or won’t he” talk. And every year, it’s the same bullshit.
Look dude, if you want to play, play. No one cares if you’re old and still want to strap on the pads. But when you don’t tell your team is you’re coming back BEFORE THE FREAKING DRAFT, you are an asshat.
But when it comes to anger about Brett Favre, no one dishes it out better than Drew Magary at KSK:
King’s report Saturday Night was spent primarily on aging Gus Frerotte playalike Brett Favre. King’s report?“I talked to Brett Favre, and he said to Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum, ‘Look… don’t count on me next year. I may come back, or I may not.’”
You know, for the past four years, Tony Dungy has considered retiring. You know what Dungy does? He goes away for a week, thinks it over, and then tells the Colts what he’s going to do. Decision over. Why does Dungy do this? BECAUSE HE’S A F***ING PROFESSIONAL. Everything you need to know about Brett Favre is contained in that quote. Don’t rely on me, team! But be sure to cater to my every whim should I make up my mind by September!
Perfect.
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But here in 2010, the times appear to be changing. First, there was one of the greatest case of schadenfreude in recorded history. All we wanted was to watch Brett Favre throw a devastating touchdown in the NFC Championship Game. We must have said it ten times. Then it happened, and all the pain of the prior summers melted into pure joy.
But then, to truly push Favre out of the number one spot in the Summer Douche rankings, LeBron James showed up.
A more self-absorbed athlete, I have never seen. This guy is the worst of the worst. He had a one-hour program to announce his new team called “The Decision”. They had a f***ing name for it! It wasn’t “LeBron’s Special Announcement” or anything. It was titled “The Decision”. I can’t really describe why that pisses me off so much, but it does. “The Decision.” Unreal.
But on top of that, his “decision” was to abandon the team that has done nothing but try to help him win a title. If you’re going to go on tv to improve your image, you’d better be going out there to declare honorable intentions. Not give up on a team.
Look, if you want to go play in Miami, have a regular press conference like everyone else. People in Cleveland will still hate you, but they hate everyone that lives in areas of “prosperity” or “moderate growth”. Most people will say that you made the right choice, all things considered. But doing that special… that’s going to be remembered forever.
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“Hey remember that time LeBron made a complete ass of himself?” The response will go one of two ways:
A) Well at least he won a title. Though that was mainly thanks to Wade.
Or B) Yeah! And he didn’t even win a title!
Either way, you still made a complete ass of yourself.
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