| 07 June 2010
Alrighty people, we move along with the Food Madness tournament. Let me just say, as an overall summary of this tournament so far: there is a lot of chalk. Now this makes me happy because it means I'm fucking awesome at seeding foods based on how great they are. But it also makes me angry because it feels like we're hosting the bracket from the women's NCAA tournament. No excitement. I'm not blaming you people out there. Don't get me wrong, you all have picked these things (mostly) right by me. But hopefully we get some more upsets moving forward. Onto the voting!
1 Apples vs 8 Peaches
Chalk. Apples handily beat grapefruit 31-4. Grapefruit didn't stand a chance. Serves grapefruit right. In a slightly more surprising move, peaches dominated cherries. I almost put cherries at number 8 because I like them better, but then I realized how much southern people love their peaches. Shit if you're from Georgia I think you need to jerk off to or with peaches at least once a day. It's a law. But cherries didn't stand a chance. Peaches 23 - cherries 12. I see apples going far in this tournament. Peaches are going to have to step aside.
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2 Bananas vs 7 Pomegranates
Bananas vs blueberries had the same outcome as peaches vs cherries. Another surprising outcome. Only because I figured bananas would dominate. Coconuts came close to pomegranates at 19-15, but didn't have enough to put them over the top. Bananas versus pomegranates promises to be a good battle.
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3 Strawberries vs 6 Pineapples
Age old partners turned against each other in the heat of battle. Kind of like the civil war of fruits. You rarely ever hear of kiwis without strawberries or strawberries without kiwi, but there we were. A fight to the death. Strawberries creamed the shit out of kiwis though, 29-6. Pineapples had a similar outcome with avocados, beating the big-pitted bitches 26-8. This matchup in the Round of 32 is a tough one for me. Arguably my two favorite fruits. Either way, a good (wo)man is going down.
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12 Grapes vs 13 Watermelon
The only two upsets in the entire region. Grapes outlasted oranges 19-16 and Watermelon had a massive upset over raspberries/blackberries 23-12. I did NOT see that one coming. I honestly thought raspberries could carry blackberries far into this tournament. But I guess they will be the fruit equivalent of Kansas or something. Fuckers fucking up my fucking bracket. All three can die a fiery death.
Well there you go. The fruit region narrowed down to eight. Up next, the meat region.
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