| 26 May 2010
Ok, people, here we go. It begins. Again. Hopefully more organized and streamlined this time. Anyways, we begin the tournament with Fruits. Delicious, delicious fruits. Vote after the jump.
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1 Apples vs 16 Grapefruit
This one shouldn’t be too hard. Grapefruits suck and apples fucking rock. Shit you got Macintosh, empire, red delicious, granny smith, gala, fuji, Cortland, and on and on. Something for everyone. Grapefruits what you got? Ruby Red? That’s it? Pathetic.
2 Bananas vs 15 Blueberries
The problem with bananas is, when they are combined with other things, they completely overpower the flavor of the second food. However, when they are on their own, they are delicious. Plus, they help you poop better. Can’t hate on them for that. Blueberries are good too, and are one of those “superfruits”, but they got no pop, no pizzazz. Plus the name is pretty boring. I mean what genius thought that one up?
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3 Strawberries vs 14 Kiwis
Strawberries fucking rule. No question about that. If I could eat only one fruit the rest of my life it would be strawberries. But they aren’t always in season like apples or bananas so they fall to numero tres. Kiwis are awesome too, but the fur on them freaks me out. Plus they are a pain and a half to peel. I heard you could eat them with the skin on as long as you take off a good amount of fur, but who the fuck wants to do that?
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4 Raspberries/Blackberries vs 13 Watermelon
Raspberries and blackberries are together here because they look almost the same. And they’re awesome. But they cost a fucking fortune in the store or you have to fight through a damn briar patch to pick them. Watermelon is only good during the summer. Even if you could get them ripe in the winter, would you really want to? We don’t have room for one season fruits here.
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5 Oranges vs 12 Grapes
Orange juice is the tits. Grapes make wine. You figure this one out.
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6 Pineapples vs 11 Avocados
You remember what I said about strawberries? If there weren’t any strawberries left on earth, my second choice would be pineapples. They are so damn delicious. And they’re fucking incredible during the summer and in drinks filled with booze. Pineapples are the party fruit. Avocados are the base of guacamole, the food of the gods. Fuck ambrosia. I’ve eaten guacamole for a meal. Several times. But other than that, avocados are kind of useless. Yeah, they’re delicious on toast and a little bit on their own, but you could get sick of the buttery taste pretty quick if you have to throw down a whole avocado.
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7 Pomegranate vs 10 Coconut
They say pomegranates were the actual “apple” that Eve (that bitch) tempted Adam with in the Garden of Eden. To be fair, if Eve tempted me with a pomegranate, I probably would have taken the bait too. But they’re a bitch to peel. Coconuts are wondrous. You can’t but help go to a beach in your mind when you eat a coconut. But, they’re even more of a bitch to open than pomegranates and when you eat them in the winter, something just doesn’t feel right. They are pretty fucking awesome in the spring/summer/fall though.
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8 Peaches vs 9 Cherries
Both fruits that are great summertime fruits. This one is tough. Peaches are awesome when they're juicy, but a good bunch of cherries, I could put a pound of that shit away in a hurry. Peaches have the annoying fur, but cherries have the annoying pit. Like I said, this one is a toughie.
UPDATE: Voting will end Friday at noonish
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