HateFest 2010: UVA

Written by C Gally | 02 September 2010

uva_vt_prank

Look, our hatred of UVA is by no means a secret. And there’s no WAY this post could reach the levels of hilarity of the Central Michigan post.

Thus, being crunched for time, your humble editor will rely on the laziest of all jokes:

You might be a Wahoo if…

…you’ve ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without intending to “ice” someone.

…you consider receiving inheritance your career.

…you STILL pop your collar, even though that went out with the bankruptcy of Zima, Inc.

…your rival actually asks you NOT to fire your coach*. *Seriously, this is more amazing than people realize. Groh was so terrible that Tech fans loved him, and he still wasn’t fired!! Name another time this has happened, ever!

…the first pick in your fantasy football league was Matt Schaub.

…you continue to think you can drink your own weight. Mint juleps are REALLY filling.

...you can’t name your starting tailback. (Don’t worry, the rest of the country can’t either.)

…you wonder how JMU has so much success in football.

…you think your Croakies say something about you. (They do.)

…your mascot is a slave-owning land baron not named Brett Favre.

…you honestly believe that mojitos aren’t gay.

…you can’t even say “wait until basketball season” anymore.

…you cry a little every night over not getting into an actual Ivy League school.

…half of your family doesn’t talk to the other half due to some argument over money.

...you leave the pregnant mother of your two kids for a 22-year-old intern, with whom you’ve had a lengthy extra-marital affair. Ironically, your father did the same thing to your mother, and you hated him for it.

tiki