| 14 September 2010
Warning: Information contained after the jump may not be safe for children, expecting mothers, and those with a heart condition. Also, those against copious amounts of swearing should probably go back to church.
A few years back, Matt “I’m A Douche” Ryan broke our hearts on Thursday night in Blacksburg. About 30 minutes after the game ended, I started to realize that I felt way, way too bad about the loss. Like, it really affected me. That scared me a little bit.
Because, you know, in the end, it’s just fucking football.
Perhaps now is a good time for Hokies to think about that story.
After the jump, slightly more angry responses to what the hell happened on September 11th.
Wait, what?
First off....
FUCK YOU BRYAN STINESPRING
Yeah, we used his name. We mean it that much.
16 points against JMU. Is that for fucking real? One touchdown, three field goals. Against JMU. Your offense is so anemic, you couldn’t muster more than one touchdown against a 1-AA opponent.
We’d like to be restrained, but you are the WORST COACH IN THE HISTORY OF VIRGINIA TECH. At no point in your terrible, incoherent coaching career, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational decision.
You are the obvious weak point in an otherwise great team. Virginia Tech could have had a dynasty that rewrote the history books if we could get an offense in the top 40 in the past decade.
So you can eat my ass, you no-talent waste of space. I swear to God you’re worthless.
---------------------
I wish I could comment on the specifics of what went wrong. But the game was on ESPN3 and not on cable. You know, CUZ IT WAS AGAINST JMU.
But I assume it was the same dumbass bullshit as it always is, just way more bullshittier. I assume the offensive line was non-existent. We probably couldn’t tackle a small child. We turned the ball over.
The defense may have struggled, but we can give Bud a pass for being the best assistant coach in the country over the past 15 years. We can blame him, but Voldemort needs to hit the fucking bricks.
---------------------
But, I’m a Hokie. I’ll always be a Hokie. You can say the play of our team embarrassed us, but anyone that says they’re embarrassed to be a Hokie needs to GTFO right now.
---------------------
We’ll recover. We recovered from our 2-2 start in 2004. We recovered last year from our devastating loss to UNC. And we recovered from the gut-wrenching BC game in the rain.
We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Just don’t watch ESPN this Saturday.
---------------------
On another note, everything we said about JMU stands true. It’s a shit school with a shit football team. We just happen to have an even shittier team. Pretty easy to have big balls after a win, huh?
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
