| 11 August 2011
There are certain evils in the world. Things so unfathomable that they must have been born of Satan himself. One of these evils lurks in a device most of us use every day. I speak, of course, about the iPhone Autocorrect.
First off, it’s automatic. Eerily similar to most Apple users themselves, the iPhone assumes it is right and inserts the corrections for you. Should you not want the correction, you have to hit this miniscule little “x” to cancel it. Since no adults have hands small enough to be comfortable with a regular Nintendo controller, this can prove difficult. It’s like trying to hit dartboard bullseye with a basketball, only you are only allowed to hit ONLY the bullseye and nothing else. If you’re off my a few pixels, your original word is replaced.
Secondly, the suggestions. Sweet Jesus, who in the hell is programming this thing? Despite running a mildly successful, barely-read Virginia Tech blog, it may surprise you to know that I’m not very savvy with computers. But I would assume common sense prevails.
My biggest issue is with the word “the”. You know, THE MOST COMMONLY USED WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. However, type in “thr” and it is corrected to “thy.” Who in the f*ck is still using the word “thy” in their texts?!?! Thy art retarded, Autocorrect.
And God forbid you have a long proper noun to type in. My text goes from “Roethlisberger is throwing picks like he’s a white Hokie qb” to “Tortuous ether is throwing picks like he’s a white homie qb”. Tortuous ether. How are either of those two words used in every day language? And how are they ever used together??
Turning it off changed my life. Autocorrect is the dumbest person I have ever met.| < Prev | Next > |
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