A Summer in Houston

Written by C Gally | 27 June 2011

Your humble editor is in grad school. As such, during the school year, I am highly encouraged to seek out a summer internship between 1st and 2^ndyear. By “highly encouraged” I mean they more or less tell you to drop out if you don’t get one*.

*Joking! Please don’t do anything rash, Josh. You’ll find your place**.

**He won’t find his place.

Well, I tricked a company into hiring me, and now I’m in Houston for the summer.

I haven’t met anyone from Houston…ever, really. Even the people I’ve met here have mostly grown up elsewhere. It’s like DC, but with less douchebags and better football.

Everyone here loves talking about how much Houston sports sucks, and it’s hard to argue. The Astros just got swept by the Pirates (WOOO!!). The Rockets play in the NBA. And the Texans have a Wahoo as their starting quarterback. Who wouldn’t be depressed?

It’s also hot. Like, super hot. I’m sweating like a football player in a geology exam here (HEY-O!).

Note: These bullets are NOT jokes. They are not intended to be funny at all, just like the rest of this site.

It’s so hot…

• …they’ve built an underground tunnel system beneath downtown with stores and restaurants and stuff. It’s like Virginia Tech’s steam pipes, only you’re allowed to go in them. And there was a Wendy’s.

• …they have pool COOLERS. You know how everyone up north has pool heaters so they can use it 3 months out of the year? Yeah, it’s so hot here that they need to cool down the water.

• …they’re in the middle of a drought.

So there’s a little taste of my summer for you. Tune in next month to read the Houston HateFest post.