| 07 October 2011
We think we got everything we needed to get out with the rant on Tuesday…
Yeah, probably not.
But you know what gets you over a horrible loss better than anything else? Kicking the shit out of Miami.
We put on the required boots, after the jump…
----------------
Non-Metallica Pump-Up Song of the Week
Ok, ok. Allowing Phil Collins to do anything was a terrible idea. So this week we are back to old standby: Coheed.
This is the hidden truth
The world between the lines
The world between the lines, huh? Let’s hope the Hokies show up there this week.
----------------
The Bad Guys
You know what’s been great this year? The fact that we haven’t heard jack about Miami or the swagger that they lost almost a decade ago.
We don’t know if it was the scandal or the fact that they have been completely irrelevant for enough seasons, but ESPN appears to have finally acknowledged that Miami is nothing more than a pimple on the ass of college football.
The Hurricanes are a freaking joke. They lost to a team that looks like it dry-heaved all over their uniform.
Their offense? Well you have Jacory Harris….HAHAHA!!! Man, that’s just too easy. See above.
Apparently their running back Lamar Miller is decent. He’s averaging 6.7 yards per carry, and has almost as many rushing yards as Harris has passing yards (not that that’s very impressive).
Their defense appears to be non-existent, much like their fan base.
----------------
The Good Guys
Defense: just keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll be fine.
Offense: Sweet lord, change EVERYTHING you’re doing. Any change (other than not giving the ball to DMFW) is good change, we don’t really care. Just try to get more than 3 points against this shitbag of a team.
Special teams: Nothing against Scott Delmer, but here’s hoping we went and got the goalkeeper from the soccer team to do the punting.
----------------
The Game
Clearly, we have to stop Miller on offense. Expect Miami to do the same with against our only offensive weapon.
So does that mean the game will come down to whichever mediocre quarterback can perform? Possibly. We don’t expect Miami to be creative enough to come up with something else, and we KNOW that our offense isn’t creative enough to make a f*cking finger painting.
So expect a low scoring, bad offense / good defense affair.
We think Tech is favored by 2, but that might be the over/under.
----------------
Zombie Kill of the Week
Finally… FINALLY, D_w comes through:
Softball got canceled tonight and the game was actually on ESPN3.com so I got my shit together and put the Zombie Kill together from that shitty game. Also, I figured that if I did this now, I could start putting that piece of shit game in the past.
So here is what we have: a monster hit by redshirt junior Martin Scales who was out blocking for Hosley on a punt. He gets to level a schmuck from Clemson who didn't learn rule number one for punt coverage... keep your head on a swivel.
The refs did throw a flag on the play, which upon further review shows that there was clearly no block in the back since you can see number 42 displayed as he went flying through the air. As you can see, Frank makes an appearance in the video and here is what I believe he is saying "Sir, I respect your status as a professional however I politely disagree with your call in this instance and insist that you do a better job, thank you."
Note: All quote are subject to interpretation.
Thanks, D_w. I will be quadrupling your pay.
----------------
Conference Realignment, Virginia Tech, and You
The Big East is so horrible, teams are leaving that aren’t even in the conference.
Really, this has nothing to do with Virginia Tech. It’s just nice to be sitting in the clubhouse while everyone else has to battle it out.
Some school is going to get screwed, and as long as it’s not us, we don’t really care.
----------------
Hokie Motivator of the Week
Each week, the Carnegie Mellon Football Analyst submits his own Hokie Motivator.
I don’t want to know what you went through to find that picture.
----------------
Adorable Video of the Week
Another thanks to B-Dubs, the little blogger that could, for this find.
Here’s some kids being way cooler than you ever were or ever will be.
Is that a chick on the bass? I guess it’s true what they say: Girls, while slow and dangerous, can still serve a purpose.
Perfect segue to…
----------------
Gratuitous Dumb and Dumber Quote of the Week
Yes, we're stealing this straight from Deadspin's Jamboroo. No, we don't care.
Lloyd: What is the Soup Du Jour?
Waitress: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.
----------------
Replacement Voldemort of the Week
After the past performance, we’re not sure this team deserves anyone awesome.
But then we remember it’s Miami.
And we have to bring our best.
We need…
The Blues Brothers
We’re going back to (kick th shit out of) Miami.
LET’S GO HOKIES!!
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
