| 07 September 2011
Well, we're finally wrapping this thing up. And we have a lot of pent up hate. We had to jump it just to fit it all in.
So after the jump, we take down Maryland, WVU, and your lame trivia name.
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Georgia Tech
Did we forget about Georgia Tech? Whoops. Just file us under “everyone else in the country.”
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Driver’s from that one state that borders yours
These drivers are the WORST. They never signal. They always cut me off. They are either going way too slow or way too fast.
Do they even have driver’s tests in the border state? These people would never pass a driver’s test in this state.
If I ever have to enter that state again, it’ll be too soon.
The only drivers that suck more are those from Jersey*.
*unless Jersey is the bordering state referred to
Speaking of bordering states that suck ass…
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Maryland
Yes, we’re not even talking about the football team. We’re talking about the entire state, because it’s really just the worst ever.
Do you enjoy high taxes, expensive gas, sub-par sports teams, crime, and a crappy shoreline? Then Maryland is for you!
When I was in Virginia, a common conversation with my friends in Maryland went something like this.
Friend: Hey, wanna come up to Maryland to hang out tonight?
Any sane person: Nope.
Like I want to drive 2 hours to go to crappy bars. I could do that in Fairfax.
(Also, when I lived in Virginia, drivers from Maryland SUUUUUCKED.)
And the Ravens? HA! The team with the most University of Miami players also talks the most without actually winning? I’m shocked.
Sadly, Raven players are responsible for more deaths than Catcher in the Rye.
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WVU
Really, all you need to know comes from this video:
Video summary:
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Dudes telling girl to do “something”
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Girl does it
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“Something” involves wading through a puddle containing submerged port-a-johns
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Dude screams “Take your shirt off!”
Don’t you go changin’, Morgantown.
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Lame Bar-Trivia Names
Quiz in my Pants? I get it. Like that one song. Stop looking up names on the internet.
My Couch Pulls Out but I Don’t? STOP LOOKING UP NAMES ON THE INTERNET!
A Casey Anthony joke? I get it. Topical AND offensive. You are a god among men.
Any name over 10 words long? Why even bother?
I’ll Have an Ovechkin: White Russian with No Cup? Actually, I kinda like that one.
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Lotus Notes
Lotus Notes is the devil. If you have money invested in a company that runs Lotus Notes, get your money out NOW.
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Being Too Old to Know People in Blacksburg
You’re 25 and living near DC. You start to ask your friends where y’all are staying for football games for the upcoming season. After a while, you start to realize that you no longer know anyone in town. Commence pooping of the pants.
No more couches to crash on. No more floors to pass out on. No more easy tailgates!
This means you have to start worrying about things like hotels. And parking passes. And being… old.
I can’t even hate on this. It’s just too depressing.
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Advertising Agents
Those responsible for the following commercials should… nay… MUST be kicked in the face:
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Good Mood Food Guy
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Online education research commercials
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Any ad that includes “Soul Sister” (I will never buy a Samsung product again)
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TMobile
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Anything involving Howie Long
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Anyone that has ever created an ad for Old Navy
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And with that, we wrap up another successful HateFest. So now what do we do? Oh yeah! Football! The reason this lower-tier Virginia Tech blog exists!
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