| 07 September 2011
Are you ready for some football, lovey?
Oh yes, we're not done yet. There's not much more we can cover about how much UVA sucks, so HateFest rolls on with a guest poster who would like to remain anonymous. And get this: he's not a Hokie, but hates UVA just as much! My fellow CMU nerd, take it away...
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The MBA world is a curious thing. Once your first year starts, life suddenly becomes a blur of studying and binge drinking. It’s a lot like undergrad, but with studying.
Does it really matter which school you attend? Not really. In the long run, you’re going to do as well as your skills will take you. There are school rankings, but generally if you’re in the top 20 or so, you’re fine.
So here’s where things get annoying.
Most business schools are named after a rich guy. Each school drills it in the students’ heads that they should always refer to the school by the rich guy’s name. They do this to try and brand themselves.
I officially attend the Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon University (we tried to paint that on our chests at a football game, but there weren’t enough people… in the entire stadium). Around school, people just call it “Tepper”. This makes sense, because people will know what you’re talking about. Outside of school, I just go with “Carnegie Mellon” because I got tired of answering the question, “What’s a Tepper?”
There are a few MBA schools that are allowed to go by just their rich guy name: Kellogg (Northwestern) and Wharton (Penn). To a lesser extent Booth (Chicago) and Tuck (Dartmouth) are ok as well. This has NOTHING to do with their rankings. These schools are just the ones that are recognizable. So if someone wants to introduce themselves and say they attend Wharton, that is totally appropriate.
What’s not appropriate is introducing yourself and saying that you attend the Darden School of Business. And this happens ALL THE TIME.
Anyone outside of the MBA world want to take a stab at where Darden is located?
You guessed it.
UVA
I’m sure this comes as no surprise to any Hokie. The pretentiousness that oozes from that school could fill the Aitken basin*.
*Largest crater on the moon. It was a trivia question last week. I still had to look it up.
Graduate school is just like undergrad: no matter where you attend, you get out of it what you put into it. The costs are pretty much the same across the board, and everyone uses the same case studies. Just because you wear pastel shirts and bought a $500 pair of thick rimmed, hipster-esque reading glasses does not make you different or special. It makes you douchey. And saying that you attend “Darden” (they don’t even say “school of business” half the time) only exacerbates the problem.
No one knows the rich guy name of your upper mid-tier business school. And frankly, no one cares. Most likely, the people you’re talking to are smarter and harder-working than you anyways. Not having a trust fund can really turn people into decent human beings.
If you say that you attend “Darden”, you deserve a swift kick to the junk. Say it again and it’s a can of red paint all over your Brooks Brothers button-down.
Your school isn’t special. Carnegie Mellon is considered a good school, and they let a jackass like C Gally in.
UVA is no different. They just have higher douche-bag requirements.
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