Via Deadspin

Over/under: Number of times Pearl and Kiffin have hit a strip club together? I think we're going to put it at once a week.

Kyle Tucker has put our worrying hearts to rest.

Unless a head coaching offer comes along - and maybe even then - Bud Foster will likely remain Virginia Tech's defensive coordinator for at least five more seasons.

Well, this is the first good move Jim Weaver has done in his entire career.  Throw tons of money at Bud Foster to make him stay.

Now this deal has Foster getting the same amount of cash each year, but if he's still the DC at Tech in 2014, he will literally get a bag of money dumped on his naked body.

Merry Christmas, Jacqueline Foster, you'll probably be getting a ginormous rock under the tree this year.

So apparently the Red Sox have signed John Lackey this fine afternoon, and Roy Hallday and his agent have checked into a Philadelphia hotel.  What does this mean?  Two things.

1.  Barring any major injuries, the Red Sox may have the best rotation in the AL this year with Beckett, Lester, Lackey, Buchholz/Daisuke/Wakefield.

2.  The Phillies will have the best rotation in the NL with Halladay, Lee (maybe, pending the Halladay deal), Hamels, Blanton/Happ/Moyer.

What wins championships?  You got it right.  Pitching.  If these deals go down, sorry, anywhere west of the Mississippi and south of the Mason Dixon line, it's going to be another northeastern Series.

Oh and on another note, who does Jason Bay think he is?  The Sox take you out of the shit hole that is Pittsburgh, and you have the gall to say "The Red Sox don't value me enough"?  The Red Sox brought you into this world and they can sure as hell take you out of it.  Ok maybe not, but a hometown discount is not too ridiculous to ask, seeing as how you would be all but forgotten if he were still in the Pirate "organization".

UPDATE: Looks like Philly moves faster than we thought.  SI.com is reporting that they have a three-way (hehe) deal with Toronto and Seattle, involving the acquisition of Halladay and sending Lee to Seattle.  No word on what Toronto is getting other than shafted.

An away game at Penn State calls for a Hokie Men's Basketball Hero.  Since the the Hokies are traveling to Penn State, this evening, I felt it only fitting for our Hero to have served time in the State Penn.

So that leaves us with our Hero being the one and only.

Mickey Rourke

(ok it wasn't as much of a state penn as a city jail but that did not work as well)

With the power of his hair the Hokies will be able to Wrestle a win away from the Nittany Lions at Happy Valley.  (enjoying the puns tonight I am)

BTW:  Malcom Delaney's Thumb > Kobe Bryant's index finger.

We got this tip (they are starting to roll in!) from, let's call him "Skap", which linked us to an article saying this:

Blacksburg, VA -- According to the football coaching blog footballcoachscoop.com, the Richmond Spiders are going to talk with Virginia Tech offensive coordinator Bryan Stinespring.

Holy balls, Christmas may have come a couple of weeks early (or for our Jewish friends, about 12 hours early).  Now I won't get my hopes up, because they first contacted QB coach Mike O'Cain, and he shot them down.  Now we get to see if BS is that self-serving and take the job if it is offered to him (and we here at the NEZ hope that he is).  I mean if this actually happens, it will save Coach Beamer from having to deal with criticism about not getting rid of Stiney and we will get a new OC.  Win win.  We will keep you updated with any happenings in this awesome, awesome news.

UPDATE: Oh and also, to put your fears aside, for now at least, Footballcoachscoop.com has confirmed that Head Coach Jimbo Fisher decided on two finalists for his DC job, Mark Stoops (DC/Arizona) and Sal Sunseri (DC/Alabama).  Notice that neither of those are spelled "B-U-D F-O-S-T-E-R".

We were sent this picture by our friend DCno10 (wooo our first tip - take that Deadspin!) which is a screen grab of the bowl selection show.  Guess if you can spot why this is awesome.

From the ACC Blog on ESPN:

The season began with a No. 7 preseason ranking and high hopes for a national title, but those aspirations took an immediate dive with the news that leading rusher Darren Evans would be lost for the season before it even started because of a torn ACL. Redshirt freshman Ryan Williams was the next man up, and he exceeded almost everyone’s expectations, rushing for at least 100 yards in nine different games.

Now we all knew that Ryan MF Williams was talented and everything, but seriously, who the hell EXPECTED this?

HD herself, at the beginning of the season chose two other players for the "awards" RMFW would win at the end of the year:

3. Newcomer of the year: Clemson quarterback Kyle Parker. He's never played in a college football game before, but was the named the starter Monday for his consistency and rocket arm. The redshirt freshman is already a standout baseball player.

5. Freshman of the year: David Wilson, running back, Virginia Tech. Anyone who does eight backflips in a row has some serious skills. As long as he stays healthy, Wilson is the real deal, and he'll have the opportunity to show it.

If you were expecting him to gain more yards, get more touchdowns, or save the lives of more puppies, then you need to calm the fuck down.  He's only one man.  With the strength of two men.  And the virility of three men.

I just don't understand the reasoning of this wood nymph.  I mean woman.

A lot has happened this week, including your humble editor still getting over about 18 hours of football this weekend. A prediction winner, a hero for tonight, and much more after the jump.

It's official:  We're taking on the Volunteers in the Chick-fil-A Bowl in what will be the third trip to Atlanta this season.

Virginia Tech, Tennessee to Chick-fil-A Bowl

The Chick-fil-A Bowl will host No. 12 Virginia Tech from the Atlantic Coast Conference and Tennessee from the Southeastern Conference.

Bowl officials say the Hokies (9-3) and Volunteers (7-5) will meet Dec. 31 at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. The two teams last met in the 1994 Gator Bowl, which the Vols won 45-23.

Virginia Tech played in the Chick-fil-A Bowl in 2006, losing to Georgia, and is making its fourth appearance in the bowl. It will be Tennessee's fifth appearance, and the Vols most recently lost to Clemson in 2004.

Tennessee is 25-22 in bowl games and ranks third in the nation in appearances. Virginia Tech is 8-14 in bowl games.

The Vols return to the postseason in Lane Kiffin's first season as coach and after an unusual absence last season.

Gobble gobble, bitches.

Our good friend The Miz at FFODC is holding a photoshop contest during the down time before the bowl games get rolling.

I would like you all, the readers to come up with clever photoshops (or even simple paint edits) of Virginia Tech pictures from the 2009 season. They can be anything you like, such as putting Bud Foster's head on a golden god or Frank Beamer peeing on Scott Stadium. Just try to keep it reasonably appropriate (i.e. no nudity or excessive cursing). Please send all entries to  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it with the Subject Line "Hokie Photoshop Expo," Your Name, and picture in JPG or GIF format.

Can't say I agree with the no nudity rule, but he's the boss.

Entries are due by the 18th, so get cracking on that Voldemort photoshop you've been dying to make.