I know I know, it sounds crazy, but let's look at the facts right now in this very, very young season:
- The Red Sox are blowing ass. Hard.
- The Pirates are in second place in the NL Central, only one game back.
- The Red Sox are barely above the BALTIMORE FUCKING ORIOLES in the AL East and as I write this, are currently getting crushed by the Rays in the fourth inning got swept at home. Sonofabitch.
- The Pirates are 5-1 at home and 2-4 on the road with a three game win streak in their pocket.
- The Red Sox are 1-5 at home (FUCK) and 3-3 on the road with a nice little 4 game losing streak hanging around their necks.
Granted this season has just started, and I'm not panicking quite yet, but it will be interesting to see how this plays out. However, in all reality, the Pirates will still suck harder than a Dyson and the Red Sox are fahking ahhhsome, so this is probably a moot point. But STILL, could it happen? Will it happen? No. But CGally can dream. Dream CGally, dream. We will keep you updated on this civil war as it plays out.
Three years ago, Hokie nation lost 32 friends and loved ones. If you'd like to become ever prouder of your school, just jump onto Facebook for a minute or two.
A lot will be written today about that day and the years since, mostly by much better writers than we have here. So we'll keep this short.
None of us will ever forget that day. But the one thing that I will personally always remember is walking on the drillfield among the thousands of signs, cards, letters, and makeshift memorials. What truly struck me was the outpouring of support from other schools, many of which I'd never heard of.
We've all heard the poem in the following video. It's still just as meaningful today as it was in 2007. But what really gets me every time I watch this is the chant at the end. We're all Hokies today.
LET'S GO HOKIES!!
Update: See, I told you... FFODC
Update 2: I was reminded that we made a post 3 years ago that wasn't bad - NEZ
Update 3: Reader Frakes sent us this post from Coleman Collins, ex-VT basketball player. It's... awesome. - ESPN
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INDIANAPOLIS - Eye black with messages and wedge blocks will be banned from college football this fall, and taunting in the field of play will start costing teams points in 2011.
I'm all for the banning of the messages on the eye black. I thought that shit was ridiculous the first time I saw it. And if it stops people like Tim Tebow from preaching his beliefs all in my face as I sit on my couch (sloth) chugging beers and eating nachos (gluttony) while oggling the cheerleaders (lust) and wishing I could have been a college football player (envy) but yet remembering my heyday as a sports star in high school (pride) and getting pissed off at the refs for being complete fuckheads (wrath) and counting my gambling winnings (greed), then I'm all for it. All the other players who did this, even our own Hokies, it looked stupid. This is a blessing in disguise. Trust me.
The wedge blocks, I could give or take. As long as some guy ends up being able to have proper brain function for the rest of his life then I guess it's a good thing.
The penalty thing, after reading through the article, makes sense, because the penalty can only be called if the player taunts before getting into the end zone. No points removed for taunting after the score or for excessive celebration. Works for me. Thank God Marcus is gone, because we would probably lose a shit ton of points if he was still here.
Just a friendly update from your friends here at the NEZ. Vote for your favorite movie quotes in April Madness before Fuhrer Gally shuts down voting. Ok maybe he's not that bad. More like Chairman Gally. Or Dear Leader Kim C Gally. Ok I'm done now.
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Yes kids, the first round will end tomorrow at noon, so get your final votes in! You probably didn't vote last November, so make up for it now! You can't rightfully complain if you didn't participate.
Links:
Moxon
Welcome to Earth
Wendy Peffercorn
Aspen
Every once in a while, we get mail from one of our dozen readers. Since our goal on this site is, above all, attempt to be funny, most of the mail follows this rule.
And past week, we received some constructive criticism:
Gentlemen,
I have only a suggestion, more cursing.
Thanks,
The artist formally known as CGB, ie Joe
Hell shit ass yes!
While we try to maintain a family friendly atmosphere here (pre-jump, anyways), lots of cursing is never not funny.
So Joe, per your request, we hereby swear to keep things R-rated (though, sadly, no boobs). Thanks for f*cking reading.
Note: Joe hails from The Key Play. He has pictures from spring practice and what appears to be ACTUAL research on his site. Who the f*ck does he think he is?
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After the jump, your Aspen Region. No time for comment. Looks like you're on your own.
After a long weekend, we are back at it. After the jump, you're Wendy Peffercorn region...
Two in one day! This has to be some sort of record for us.
Vote for the Moxon region here. We'll try to provide a little more insight to these matchups. After the jump...
For those of you new to the NEZ, let's explain. Once a year, we put together a ridiculous 64 "team" tournament. 2 years ago, we found out that Homer Simpson was the greatest cartoon character in history (shocker). Last year, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was crowned as the best tv show theme song.
This year, we are looking to find the greatest movie quote ever.
We decided to take one quote from each movie, and had to make executive decisions. We put together the tourney, and if you want to bitch about the choices (Randy), have at it. But remember that we're still better than the actual Selection Committee.
So here was the plan all along: Let college basketball finish, THEN jump into our annual tournament madness thing. You see, now we have nothing to occupy our time. So our now titled "April Madness" is perfectly timed to help you get through a difficult sports stretch.
Throughout today, we'll be posting the regions and giving you a chance to vote.
After the jump, the four #1 seeds and the first region...
Our March Madness tournament is over as of last night, after Butler got finished breaking the hearts of millions. Goliath won last night, folks. David is dead. 'Tis a sad day.
Anyways, that means we have to crown the winner of our tournament. To be honest, I haven't checked the standings for quite a while now, seeing as how my Final Four was eliminated about 36 weeks ago. It was my surprise to get a text from CGally last night saying that if Duke won, he won. Well as we all know Duke did win. So this only means that CGally is our winner. What a fucking dick.
This causes some confusion and embarrassment on our part, since we didn't think one of us would actually "know" the most about a particular sport out of our tens of readers. But here we are. To the prizes!
CGally gets nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Why? Because he was the only one to pick Duke to win it all. I don't care who you are, you DO NOT PICK DUKE TO WIN IT ALL. Seeing as how he was the only one to do so, I applaud the rest of you for having class and respect for yourselves. Well done. Since CGally didn't win the t-shirt, beer, and free post, we will be awarding the prizes to the second place finisher, RMFW (G. Bringhurst). So, Bringhurst, we need you to get at us via thenorthendzonesuggestions@gmail.com to claim your prizes. And congratulations.
I'm still disgusted with you CGally. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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